Things The Fate of the Furious made me want to watch instead of The Fate of the Furious

Max: 

Snake: 

Atomic Blonde: 

Furiosa: 

Jason: 

Michael: 

Moana: 

Morgana: 

Statham: 

An all Statham & Baby movie: clip forthcoming

4 thoughts on “Things The Fate of the Furious made me want to watch instead of The Fate of the Furious

  1. Jace Brittain says:

    I haven’t seen “furious 7” or “the fate of the furious,” but the pull of the series for me has always been how much seems accidental, out of control. Of course, the special effects / stunt work esp in the later ones becomes more and more elaborately orchestrated, but there’s always these fraying edges. I love the self-obsessed ridiculousness of each movie’s title and the inconsistent system of titling. I love fulfilled expectations like exhaust spitting nos flames and bro hugs. I love fan theories surrounding the correlation between Corona product placement and movie quality. I love the scene in #1 where the cops are all drinking iced frappes from red-and-white-striped straws while discussing their serious plans in all due seriousness, like every so so american discussion about family family family, so so serious, in reality these movies don’t say anything very serious at all or anything very thoughtful. I’m pretty pumped about the submarine chase in the new one, is it a “eagle eye” tech/ surveillance/ hack3rs thing? I don’t imagine there’s any real commentary about surveillance or consideration of complicity, even wryly?

    I guess I’d rather be watching Escape from New York too. More wry in one eye. And no Corona!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jaymerussell says:

    I cannot believe that Helen Mirren, Kurt Russell, and Charlize Theron are in this film.

    I love camp, and cheese, and stupid accidents. Unfortunately, 99.99% of this movie was not fun. In fact, the first half was completely offensive to many groups of people and the second half was incredibly boring. You are right about the titling. I have no idea what this (flimsy) story has to do with fate. I think that the word “fate” was used simply because it begins with the letter “f.” There were a few car races, but there was no dramatic tension. I kept thinking of the cool car chases, the practical effects, and the hood mounted camera shots in Mad Max.

    The most horrifying scene in the film is when Theron kisses Vin Diesel’s emotionless face. It’s almost as if someone else recognizes his inhuman nature, because at one point he is dressed like a serial killer, mask and all, and wields a giant metal cutting saw. It can’t be a reference to Road Warrior and the homunculus, can it? That would be too clever.

    Charlize Theron’s character, Cypher, is supposed to be a master hacker with global surveillance capabilities. She is after nukes. She is after power. Her motivation is unclear. She is always on a plane with Vin Diesel. She has control of a submarine and chases everyone with it. I caught myself looking off into space at this point. I only really paid close attention when Jason Statham’s character shot people while carrying a baby. (They were on a plane and there wasn’t one mention of why shooting on a plane may be a bad idea. Love it.)

    Predictably, if you think hard enough, this movie is about being there for your team and Americans saving the world, even though there are a several people on the team who are not American… In the end, the team, the baby, and Jason Statham are all united. They sit down to a rooftop barbecue. Vin Diesel prays, while the camera pulls out for the final shot. Yikes.

    Like

  3. jaymerussell says:

    Helen, I will write an extensive love poem to Guardians of the Galaxy II, that’s how much better that movie will be. I trust James Gunn and the entire cast.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s